MOODS, FEELINGS, TIME AND SEASON….hmm
There was a “MOOD” filled with pleasant thoughts of YOU. In a season, now ended. This end still can’t be defined because there was a time the feeling was thought ENDLESS.
I remember a season I could live all day with your thoughts taking over my mood.
I remember when time will stop and feelings always leave you with appreciation just perceived by the gaze in your eyes. The moods where trusting and hopes were defined by the thought that YOU were true with every single breath.
I remember the feeling I got when you gave me a selfless gift, from a heart not influenced by hate or anger. This time piece I planned to hold close awhile but has to be returned.
The “FEELINGS”, now misplaced and sometimes filled with wishful thoughts to go back in time, in hope for a pleasant season to stop all fowl intended moods. Now seasonal, these search for a time you knew you should have gone with your guts, and listened to the voice in your head, but you choose to be head strong and defensive.
I remember the mood of silence you had when you kept everything in, that point you got to when you were really upset. I know the mood you get when your annoyance needed expression, those where the season of hope.
I remember those seasons of complete silence, at this point, there was no going back, and chances slim.
I remember time will be a factor I hate, because I thought I will have a lifetime. But here I am in high dudgeon.
Oh! “TIME” when given a moment to recap, the realization that a new presence has been created, the effect of evolution. These truth we find through time with the handicap nature it presents when we wallow in wishful thinking.
I remember the season your trust dwindled.
I remember the feeling of disappointment I felt, when I realized that you saw no possibility of a lifetime. I know how I felt when I knew there was nothing to work for.
I remember the mood I got when I was so sure telling you all without thinking was the best way to be transparent. I still know the mood that was set when I became reserved and talked less. These seasons, now created a line drawn, this thin line is intertwined now with doubt.
Now a “SEASON” has come, when hopes is trapped in egoistic concept created out of pride, and fueled in justification. Little actions, like not listening and understanding got us here. Too much assumption and insecurities has created a feeling of doubt, trust has gone with the wind because we fail to explain to ourselves how important this is…
I remember when you spoke in confidence.
I remember when you trusted me too close for comfort.
I remember how it felt in a season of complete hope.
I recall how Sadness developed in the present realization, only when selfish desires clouded vision on a daily.
These times are not better, these times have left me no good, these times are full of anger as to who I have become, and the time has only been of resentment and self-pity.
This time I feel should end, and no time allowed for such seasons anymore because, this mood is too difficult to get off, and the feeling sore.
But now this season has created a complete feeling of hurt and not a thought that is pleasant. Then I stop to think, why? I realize that as people get older, they protect themselves against painful experiences by closing themselves off. The price for this is they grow rigid, physically and mentally. This reaction can take a positive or negative turn.
When we play down how we feel, let it be known that the likelihood to give into the boiling point, stands at a high percentage. This is a place no joy can be found. When we speak at point hurt, we lose control of ourselves. The key is in the mind. To work out our situation is to do this with love. However difficult we think this is, we ask ourselves how we can be in a place filled with DUDGEON, and an expression of love is demanded. This can be done when we selflessly recuse ourselves from ourselves.
I once knew of a book that was wiser than wisdom. It came in handy when the king of kings played the role of love. This is the clearest explanation life’s situation can be analyzed. To react in love at all time can only lead to a positive reaction.
This book also made for an understanding that the balance of life’s emotions can be seen through the eyes of children. Children are by nature unprotected and open to experience, and this receptiveness is extremely attractive. In the presence of children we become less rigid, always infected with their openness
I remember time, seasons, feelings and mood, and all I can think of is, relationship can be better if only we just believe in the bond built in friendship, not the idea we all create up in our head.
The selfish suspicion created by past ideas sometimes get the better part of us and it takes over us, so trying to make it not work becomes an idea.
I will close this chapters. I will pat-down my mood, I will create a feeling of warmth to welcome a time for only a season of love, because after all, that is the only thing we started on, and took away.